Laird's Lullabies

Last night Britta asked me to sing her a song as she was going to sleep.  I anticipated her asking for a new song (which is a hard request to follow night after night) and began thinking of something I’d never sung her before.  My mind cast back on the days when I was young and my father used to sing to me.  I started chuckling to myself as some of the words came back to me.  It was one of those moments when the uniqueness of my upbringing was again confirmed to me. 

I started singing, a little shakily, a song I remember my dad singing that used to send us into fits of laughter.  Britta got a couple of chuckles out of it too, tired as she was.  Ultimately, I had to call my dad to fill in the gaps in my memory.  He was more than happy to oblige and gave an impromptu recital while I put him on speaker phone while the girls drifted off to sleep.  I thought I should capture these songs in writing to help me remember them and to draw out whatever memories you might have.

 

Cheers!

 

 

Johnny Roebeck

There was a little Dutch boy whose name was Johnny Roebeck.

He liked to dine on sausages and sauerkraut and speck.

One day he invented a terrible machine.

Now all the neighbors’ cats and dogs will never more be seen.

 

Chorus:

O, Mr. & Mrs. Johnny Roebeck how could you be so mean.

I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine.

Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen.

They’ll all be turned to sausages in Johnny Roebeck’s machine.

 

One day the little Dutch boy came walking in the store.

He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.

He started into whistle, he whistled up a tune,

And all the little sausages went dancing around the room.

 

[Chorus]

 

One day the darn thing busted, it just plain wouldn’t go,

So Johnny Roebeck stuck in his neck to see what made it so.

His wife was having a nightmare while walking in her sleep.

She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Johnny Roebeck was meat.

 

O, Mr. & Mrs. Johnny Roebeck how could you be so mean.

I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine.

Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen.

They’ve all been turned to sausages in Johnny Roebeck’s machine.

 

 

Alice, Where Are You Going?

Alice, where are you going?

Upstairs to take a bath.

Alice, with legs like toothpicks

And a neck like a giraffe-afe-afe-afe-afe-afe-afe-afe

 

Alice turned off the water.

Alice pulled out the plug.

Goodness gracious, what a shame!

There goes Alice down the drain!

Glub. Glub. Glub.

 

 

I Had a Little Chicken

Oh… I… had a little chicken and she wouldn’t lay an egg,

So I poured hot water up and down her leg.

And the little chicken hollered and the little chicken begged,

And that little chicken laid for me a hard boiled egg.

 

 

The Battle Cry of Freedom

Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom.

And every where that Mary went the lamb was sure to go.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom.

Hoo-rah for the Mary!

Hoo-rah for the lamb!

Hoo-rah for the teacher who didn’t give a particle if

All the lambs in Idaho went marching of to school.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom!

 

Mary had a little goat whose skin was black as ink.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom.

He chewed the paper off the walls and spit it in the sink.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom.

Hoo-rah for the Mary!

Hoo-rah for the goat!

Hoo-rah for the teacher who didn’t give a particle if

All the goats in Idaho went marching of to school.

Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom!